What defines you...

This blog will probably be the hardest and most personal blog I ever write—but I’m ready to share it. Today I realized a lot about myself.  So, we've all had struggles and most of the things we go through in life defines us and makes us who we are today--good or bad. I remember a time when I looked like this: 

It was not my proudest moment, but this was me at my heaviest. I was about 325 pounds and this was taken a few months to a year after I lost my mom. Something inside of me died too--my spirit. My passion, my hopes, my goals. I really just didn't care anymore. I let fear overtake me. Here I was, a wife at 19, no mother or father, no siblings...and I depended on my cousins, aunts and uncles to be my family. It still didn't fill that void, but food did. Food always helped.

So, it wasn't until 2012 when I realized I had to make a change. I had to do something and get healthier, if not for me, for my son Payton. So I set out and changed things in baby steps. Those baby steps grew to big girl steps until I finally just dove in head first and never looked back. I joined a gym, I ate healthier and I didn't stop pushing myself to my maximum limit. Since then, I've lost 100 pounds. Yes, one hundred. 10 pant sizes, 2-3 shirt sizes, a shoe size (believe it or not), 2 ring sizes. I lost a lot...but gained so, so much more.

Now: 

I used to hide behind a smile and pretend to be okay. I was always bubbly and outgoing, but I felt like a star who had no glow. I didn't shine. Now, I can look into the mirror and somewhat feel a glow. I feel beautiful and I feel like my outside is beginning to match what's inside.

Trust me, I am no where near done my transformation. It's a journey and the destination will be so worth it in the end. There were a lot of sweat, tears and times when I felt like just throwing in the towel...but I didn't. That basically answers the question to all those who ask "Omg you look great, what did you do?!" Well...I just started and I didn't stop. Giving up was not an option then and it's not now.

So, the big secret. I've been at the hardest plateau ever since May. I've maintained well, clothes are loose but the scale goes up then down. I've admitted---I'm a scale-a-holic....and it will be my down fall if I don't stop. I was at the gym today and I realized, I DO look fantastic, even though I felt like a sausage stuffed in casing. I HAVE made so much progress, I HAVE changed--in many ways than just physical. I feel more confident, I am not as shy, I smile--a lot. And I love to laugh again. I feel like ME again, like the girl turned woman before her mother died. Though I've grown, I feel like I've finally started to get my passions back, my spirit, my hopes and my goals. I dream again--and I dream big.

But I still fear. Why? Being a scale-a-holic is something that's not really known or talked about. Hell, I probably just now invented it, but regardless....the struggle is this: I let those numbers depict my day, my life. I let those numbers get to me, control me, eat at me, discourage me. Every.single.morning I have to weigh myself. If I've gained a pound, I frantically try to figure out why and what I've done to gain. I'm paranoid...I freak out and then get pissed. Then...I get sad. Then, I can't focus to get back on track with eating right and clean like before. I continue to work out and push myself, but motivation is slacking and getting my eating habits back on track is harder because of those THREE little numbers that should mean nothing, but mean everything.

I sabotage myself. Why? I'm scared....I'm scared I'll go back to the 325 pound Lauren who was just the fat girl in high school. I was the one they sang songs about and titled "Biggie, Biggie, Biggie..." I was "Miss Piggy." I was "Rosanne." My weight defined me then...and now the numbers do. And it has to stop. NOW.

It was possible then and it's possible now. I didn't give up before and like hell will I now, even though most days I figure why not. But I can't. I'm not done yet. I'm transforming myself and it takes time. So if it takes me another year, so be it. But I will keep that weight off for good. I will succeed because I REFUSE to let those numbers win. I am a beautiful, confident woman damn it and I will show it.

Losing weight is never easy. They don't tell you how emotionally draining it is. You know the physical aspects of it, but you never realize the scars that lay buried until you shed what covered said scars. Every time I think of giving up I remember that blind date in tenth grade when the guy said "150 pounds? What in each leg?" That killed me. It broke me and it still hurts to this day.

Sad thing is? Society never will help images or the way we view ourselves. I feel so bad for the young girls today going on fad diets just to be in size 0 because that's what's acceptable. I define what's acceptable to me and I say--beauty is only skin deep. They always say it's what's on the inside that matters and it's really how it should be. So why do we always look to the outside appearance first and make our assumptions based solely on that? But we do...and this is the world we live in.

 So, today I had an epiphany. It's time for me to break up with the scale and only get together every couple weeks or so. It's killing my progress and it all started in May when I had to weigh everyday because I hit my first goal of 100 pounds and was terrified to gain any of it back. Even feeling like I was taking on more water than the Titanic, regardless the fact I had Sonic the night before, I still looked beautiful in the mirror...and that's something the scale could never tell me.

Beauty....is in the eye of the beholder. So behold your beauty, regardless of size or what the number on the scale says....embrace it!

It's a Timeless Desire....

I had the pleasure of sitting down with Torie James, AGAIN *squee* for a little one on one about her newest book in her series, TIMELESS DESIRE: Book 2 of the New Camelot series. It will be released March 21st and you WILL want to get your copy. I suggest this author and I can assure you, you will NOT be disappointed. Here's what she had to say, below:

In Timeless Night, we learned that Alex and Bri are soul mates. Can you tell us if we can expect to see these two love birds in more of your series?

 I can safely say that Alex and Bri WILL appear in all the New Camelot books for various reasons although the focal point won’t be on them as the others tell their tales. However, Bri is kind of the like the glue that holds them all together.

Timeless Desire is set to be the next book released in the series and anyone who follows you knows that it took a lot to write it out. A lot of emotional things were brought to the surface, can you tell us how your struggles helped or affected your writing?

At first, it was all hindrance and all painful. I blamed the icy nature of Nimue on that and her inability to trust. Turns out I was the problem the whole time. Bri definitely represents the happies in me but Nim? She is all my shadows and heartbreak so it was hard to confront that. In point of fact, I was entirely resistant to letting it out but in the end, it was therapeutic.

Will there ever be a love interest for Big Beefy aka Mordred? We’re dying to know!  

*laughs* Ah, Big Beefy. My bete noir...nightmare man! Believe or not, Dred is really a complex character if you care to scratch the surface. I started out hating him, grudgingly came to respect him and am now seeing things about him I didn’t before. So much so that yes, he will get his own book, Timeless Seduction. He’s a hard man to love, and its even harder for HIM to love, but let’s see what magic is in store for our anti hero, shall we?

In book one, Alex and Bri are the main couple…can we expect a book focusing on Gwen and Arthur, or any other couples? TD is about Gawain and Nimue, I know I can’t wait to read what all that tension was about. 

I can’t wait for you guys to read it! And yes, after Timeless Seduction (book 3) comes Timeless Passion, Arthur & Gwen’s story. I wasn’t sure if I’d put a spotlight on them  theirs is one of those love stories that seem inviolate with loving tragedy. But we are in New Camelot and not everything remains myth, right? I’ve exonerated Lancelot with Timeless Night. So, Art and Gwen deserve a shot too. After their book will be Merlyn’s story. His will be the most heart wrenching for me. Are there any more supernatural things going to be introduced, more than light guardians? Oh yes! Fae, Demons, Djinn and a bevy of “others” waiting to come out and play!

Any plans for another series or another book with a completely different set of characters and plots? 

Bwuah ha ha! Yes! First off will be my Cloie Chronicles, the adventures of the youngest of the Greek Fates! That one is REALLY special to me! After those, I have plans for another series about the devil’s daughter AND I really want to start writing a series of books on the Tudors!

What do you enjoy most about writing and why? 

I can live a thousand lives and be whatever I want to be.

If you could have ONE thing, what would it be right now? 

My own private jet so I could visit all my Dear Ones....of which YOU, my dear, are one! <3

If you could be one of your characters for one whole day, who would it be and why?  

*grins wide* I’m already Bri. So, let’s see. I think I should like to be Merlyn. Perhaps I already am, though. Or perhaps he is me.

Are there any pieces of you in your characters? Meaning, did you give this character your wit, this character your love of this, etc. 

Every single character has some definitive part of me in them. No doubt! In fact, I am finding out many new things about myself through them. They save me every single day, showing me I am strong, I am worthy and I am amazing.



Excerpt from Timeless Desire, Book Two of New Camelot:

Why did his touch still burn through her, make her heart skip a beat? "Trust you? Trust you? I'd rather take a running leap onto the face of the sun, Gawain. I trusted you once and you ruined my life. I trusted you once more and you helped kill what I loved. Excuse me if I find your use of that particular word ironic." She shoved hard against him, hard enough he stumbled back a bit, allowing her to slip from his hold.

"If Lancelot knew, he'd hate you as much as I do. They all would! The only reason he remains unaware, is he is at peace again with his heart. I won't disturb it for the world. So your dirty little secret is safe with me, husband." The last word spit out with derision, she gave him a cold smile.

"Let me go, Gawain. It's easy. As for the blood link, simple solution. We can continue to provide each other with what's needed without being together. As black as your blood is, it does provide me with the necessary sustenance. But that's all you are to me, now. A food source. There is no happy ending for us. You botched that up proper. I have stayed my voice the last few months for Bri. For Alex. But I owe you nothing. So let me go my way!" She moved as wind, reaching down to snatch off one of her stiletto'd heels, her free hand shoving him back into the wall, mortar crumbling around them. Animosity spurred her on as she angled the heel over his heart. "Or I will kill you. I swear it. I will kill you and in killing you, I kill myself. That's how desperate I am to be free of you."

Lauren, babe...Thank YOU so much for letting me be here today! You rock! *hugs*

Interested in keeping up with me and my shenanigans? You can find me at:

Blog and Website: http://torienjames.blogspot.com/

FB: https://www.facebook.com/WriterGurl216

Twitter: https://twitter.com/Writergurl216

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7054839.Torie_N_James

Amazon Author: http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B00CTBYH0M

Breathless Press Website: http://www.breathlesspress.com/

The Mommy Chronicles

So, I have a three year old son, whom I adore....most days. :D His name is Payton and he drives me insane. I feel like I'm at a meeting sometimes, confessing things and just want to say, "Hi, I'm a mom to a three year old and I often pull my hair out..." So, instead....I asked a few moms their confessions and well, it's all so true. If you can't relate, well then, congrats you have the perfect little life and you're the perfect little mommy, GO YOU! Not..

Some of these are mine, some are not. Have fun reading!

When my child has a hissy fit, I let him scream it out to "build character", but mostly because it's hilarious. Come on, when is watching your child freak the heck out and get red faced and fuming because you said "No, you can have a snack AFTER dinner..." not funny? Right?

Once we're mommies to toddlers, we seem to get some superpowers. I know my superpower is deaf ears. When he's just being crazy loud and annoying, I tune him out. I've become quite good that I can get work done and only respond to screams of pain or crying in pain. You start to learn not every wail is important.

Giving him his toothbrush to chew rather than having him fuss while brushing his teeth. Two birds, one stone...right?

That moment when I see him standing on the kitchen table...again....I pretend I don't see just so I don't have to get up and get him down....again.

When I'm extremely tired... letting him soak in bubble bath is considered bath time. Smells clean, good enough for me.

At some point, I stopped getting worried by the sanitation of what he puts in his mouth. It's called building immunity.

He gets into everything no matter how child proofed your house is and how high you put stuff....Poison control has heard from me more than my friends do.

When I hear them starting to argue from the other room, I quickly hide so they get distracted in trying to find me. You know they'll always run to mommy for an intervention.

When my kids don't wake up in the morning, I pretend I'm talking to someone at the back door. They get so curious, they jump right up. Nosy little boogers.

For storytime, I skip read and skip paragraphs. It's not like he notices?

HOW annoying is it when your kid listens to EVERYONE around you...but you. This is done purposely to test our patience.

I've become my mother...you know the sayings we used to hate hearing so much. Can I get an "AMEN" if you heard this once...or a thousand times.

1. "Oh, you won't feel that when you married."
2. "If you fall off the sofa, don't come crying to me."
3. "I brought you in this world, I can surely take you out."
4. Speaking through your clenched teeth because that's so much more threatening like you mean business.
5. "Aw, poor baby...poor little thing." Sarcastically like it's not really poor baby...
6. "If you don't stop, so help me God..."
7. "I will take you in that bathroom."

You know you're a mommy when you....

* Think idle threats will work and get the job done. Don't follow through? You look soft.
* Count down the time until bedtime and map out your night in your head. (put kid to bed, wine, bath, reading, sleep. Come on 8:30!)
* Are in the store and your kid has a hissy fit, all you can do is smile and shake your head but mentally think ohhhhh just wait until we're alone.
* You find that 80% of your purse contents are sippy cups, pacifiers, toys, wipes or other toddler/baby related items.
* Socks...disappear. They just disappear and you're certain the inside of your washer or dryer may look like a sock graveyard if taken apart and disassembled.
* You love your kid 1000 times more when they're sleeping because they look so peaceful and quiet.
* Would do it all over again, because...well, we love the torture? lol just kidding...maybe?

I love my son with my whole heart and soul, and he's the best thing that's happened to me. I'll always love him, I just don't always have to like him. :P

I'm sure all you moms out there can relate. Motherhood was never meant to be easy, and the joys outweigh the frustration, but when your night if finally quiet and you can think...all you think about is how lucky you are to be a mom to the sweetest (when he wants to be) little boy and know that he loves you unconditionally just as much as you love him. And there is nothing, nothing you would not do for him. At least that's how I feel. I LOVE my son, but I hate the toddler years. (Terrible twos and threes) It's a process though....and definitely an uphill climb. One I'm glad to take with my fellow mommies. There's a huge bottle of wine waiting for us at the top!!!

Until next time,
First time mom.

You know you're a writer when.....

I thought I'd share my random ramblings with the world. So I have a few ideas for a few novels. Most of them are romance, something I really enjoy writing. Some of them have a supernatural or historical element to them and that makes it more interesting as more research goes into that. I recently wanted to challenge myself and have been thinking of some kind of plot/idea to make a book series. I finally think I landed the right idea that can span 3-4 books. It involves something I find fascinating and interests me. It was one of the reasons I went into law enforcement. I won't spoil too much but it will be crime and mystery, and it will be about serial killings. All fictional, but I think the twist is pretty interesting. So I was sitting here thinking about it all and it made me laugh....

You know you're a writer when you fear law enforcement seeing your google searches. {I.E poison to use that kills you slowly, spells from the 17th century, 17th century witchcraft, crime scene photos, sentence for homicide, etc...} The list goes on and I know there have been crazier searches. And all of it is innocent and only research for writing...but to another person...you're psycho.

It's crazy some days...all these voices in your head talking to you wanting you to tell their story....see, there I went and sounded like a crazy person. I promise I am completely sane...which is probably something a crazy person would say. :/ point is, being a writer has its ups and downs. You have these characters you  created and bits of you are found in them. You are a part of them, you were their creator. They are important to you. Some days my brain is filled with so many ideas, dialogue, scenes, they play out like a movie in my head and if I don't get them down right away, 9 times out of 10 I'll forget them. They come at completely random times. A picture, something someone says, a song, a movie...anything can trigger that spontaneous writer tick that we all have. Your friend is talking about how bad their day is and you're all "OOOO I know my characters last name!" Yeah...it happens.

Family and friends who stand behind you and support your "Crazy person ways" are the best and deserve to hear thanks every now and then. I know a few times I've asked my husband something if he thought it was plausible, interesting, made sense, or sounded off. Sometimes he'd give me that  "Are you for real right now or in writer mode?" look.

I often question if all the great writers are like this. Stephen King, James Patterson, Nicholas Sparks, Charlaine Harris...did they think this way? Am I weird or crazy? Is this the crazy life of a writer?

Either way, I'm hooked and this is my thing. No longer a hobby for fun, but it's what I want (eventually....one day) to be my career. Being famous isn't important, but I would like to be known...get my name out there. Who doesn't? So if my life is going to be brain cramped with ideas and such, dreams coming and making me think of more stuff....sign me up. It's a writers life after all....right?

Interview with the Once and Future Queen of New Camelot--Torie James

Using five sentences, tell us who YOU are, the writer.

Torie: Torie James. The Once and Future Queen. Also known as Little Writer Girl. Angel to some. Demon to Others.

Do you currently have any books out for purchase? If so, what are the names, what’s it about and where can we find them?

Torie:  I do indeedy have a lil tale out for public consumption. The debut novel in my New Camelot Series, "Timeless Night".

Amazon Link: https://authorcentral.amazon.com/gp/books/book-detail-page?ie=UTF8&bookASIN=B00FBE7FSU&index=default

Breathless Press Link: http://www.breathlesspress.com/index.php?main_page=product_free_shipping_info&cPath=13&products_id=483

Are you currently working on something? Tell us about it!

Torie: I am! Currently working on Book Two in the NC series, "Timeless Desire". It picks up a few months after "Timeless Night" ends and has a bit more edge and a darker tone. Loyalty is questions, some ties are broken. I'm very excited!

If you were stranded on a deserted island, what THREE things could you not live without?

Torie: Chocolate. Chocolate. Did I mention chocolate?

When is your most creative time of the day?

Torie: Early morning and right around twilight. The air is full of hidden things that speak to me.

What motivates you to write? Music, movies, pictures?

Torie: Music and pics would top that list!

If you could have a conversation with anyone, living or dead, who would it be and why?

Torie: Elizabeth I. I am a fangirl and amateur historian who found her fascinating. She did everything they said she couldn't do. And changed the face of a whole nation.

What authors inspire you? Why?

Torie: Anne Rice. Sherrilyn Kenyon. Charlaine Harris. Laurell K. Hamilton. Strong women who write strong characters and have definitely opened up new avenues on old stories. They are my Goddesses.

What started you on the journey to write?

Torie: I honestly can't remember a time in my life when I didn't know that I wanted to write, to tell stories, to weave words.

What are the biggest challenges you’ve come across being an author or a writer?

Torie: I lack ambition, and somedays, motivation. But to tell a good tale, sometimes you have to go to uncomfy places. I learned that just recently. It's hard, but I think it'll be worth it.

How has becoming a published author (independent or traditional) changed your perspective on life and is it everything you expected it to be? (If you are not published yet – what changes do you foresee?)

Torie: Hmmm. I want to say I'm followed by the paparazzi every where I go, but I'm not. *grins* I'm still a bit shocked that I am published! It's everything I thought it would be and more. Nothing about me has changed fundamentally. I'm still all about telling more stories. It gives me the hugest happy to see how well received my world has been though.

How do you stay motivated and get through writer’s block?

Torie: I don't force it. If the muse is quiet and moody, I'll start working on other things. She usually comes racing back the moment I'm busy.

What keeps you focused and ‘in the zone’ while writing your novels?

Torie: I pepper my lappy with nothing but "book" related things. Pics, music, poems. If I don't feel like writing, I sure as heck dabble with photo's or I research.

Do you have a technique or style of writing you prefer? Do you write in order or skip around and piece together later?

Torie: Totally skip to the lou and go Frankenstein on it at the end and piece it together. Color me Igor!

When your dreams come true, what do you do?

Torie: Hit my knees and thank the Powers that Be, the Old Ways, for allowing me to not just have this dream, but share it with others.

To all of us aspiring authors, struggling, or newbies, what is the best advice you can give us?

Torie: Keep going. Hardest part is getting started. Don't worry if you're worthy, or talented or if you're gonna fall flat on your arse. The only thing that matters is that YOU keep going. Shoot for the moon, even if you fall short, you'll still land among the stars. Don't let ANYONE take your successes or your happiness from you.

Where can we follow your updates and work?

Faceybooky: https://www.facebook.com/WriterGurl216?ref=hl

Webby: http://torienjames.wix.com/torie-james

Interview with William Blackrose

I had the pleasure of interviewing a great friend of mine, William. He has written many novels and has written pretty much all his life. Check out what he had to say here:

Using five sentences, tell us who YOU are, the writer.

William: Who I am as a writer is an interesting puzzle. I am the Cheshire cat that speaks in riddles. I am the ancient storyteller that captures your mind. I am the sun on your face on a perfect day. I am, to put it simply, a writer.

Do you currently have any books out for purchase? If so, what are the names, what’s it about and where can we find them?

William:  None of my books are available for purchase currently but I am a regular contributor to the magazine Bohemia. It is available digitally or in print and can be found at http://www.bohemia-journal.com

Are you currently working on something? Tell us about it!

William:  I currently have two projects I am working on. I am participating in NaNoWriMo. That is National Novel Writing Month for those of you who are not aware. I am endeavoring to write a dystopian fantasy novel inside of 30 days. I am also working on an anthology of short stories based on a central theme for later publication.

If you were stranded on a deserted island, what THREE things could you not live without?

William:  My Wife (we love to motivate each other in writing), my laptop, and an unlimited supply of Pepsi.

When is your most creative time of the day?

William:  My most creative time of day is not day. I am most likely to write late in the evening or the middle of the night.

What motivates you to write? Music, movies, pictures?

William:  Life motivates me to write. For me writing is like breathing, like eating. It is not something you choose to do, it is something so much a part of me that I cannot ever see myself not writing on something. As for what motivates a story for me, it can be a song, a picture, or even simply an idea. When I start to write, I usually have only one character and one scene in mind. The rest evolves organically.

If you could have a conversation with anyone, living or dead, who would it be and why?

William:  Living or dead…that is actually a very tough one as there are so many options. I would have to say in honesty though it would be Mahatma Gandhi. His background and education gave him so many doors to choose from, it has often made me wonder why he chose to take the path that he did. I think if there was only once chance, I would like to ask him about that.

What authors inspire you? Why?

William:  Poppy Z Brite, Torie James, and of course, my wife, Kaitlan Blackrose.

As for why, they all inspire me because the write for the love of the written word. Not for money, or fame, but because of their love of words.

What started you on the journey to write?

William:  I have been writing since I was about ten years old, had my first piece published before my thirteenth birthday and have never stopped. I would create stories and tell them to friends even before I wrote them. So I guess, to answer the question…life started my journey. I do not know of a time where I was not creating stories.

What are the biggest challenges you’ve come across being an author or a writer?

William:  For a while, life got very difficult and as such, I was tempted to give up writing. As I have said though, to me writing is as natural as breathing. Sometimes I think creating my stories was what helped me push through those hard times.

How has becoming a published author (independent or traditional) changed your perspective on life and is it everything you expected it to be?

William:  Being published is nice. It is like a pat on the back and an ‘atta boy’, but that is not what is important to me. It is nice, but the fact of creating something that was not previously there is more important to me than recognition. That goes for publishing and other ways as well.

How do you stay motivated and get through writer’s block?

William:  I keep more than one iron on the fire, so to speak. I have a little notebook I keep close that has various ideas for new stories in it, just in case they are needed.

What keeps you focused and ‘in the zone’ while writing your novels?

William:  Perhaps the better question would be what could pull you out of a zone. Once my mind is locked in a story, it is being created in my head constantly until it is done, even if I am not actively typing it in.

Do you have a technique or style of writing you prefer? Do you write in order or skip around and piece together later?

William:  I like to let the stories come organically. Sometimes the last scene or lines of a story come to me before I am half done with the novel. If that happens, I got it down and keep going.

When your dreams come true, what do you do?

William:  I keep writing.

To all of us aspiring authors, struggling, or newbies, what is the best advice you can give us?

William:  Never give up. Write what your passion is. Don’t give a damn what others say. Passion is what makes a book good, not price.

Where you can find more of his work: 

Websites:

Http://WilliamBlackrose.com

https://www.facebook.com/WilliamBlackroseAuthor

Interview with Jan Meredith

I had the privilege of sitting down with fellow author, Jan Meredith. See what we talked about here:

Using five sentences, tell us who YOU are, the writer.

Jan: I’m a wife, mother and a nurse who listens to the people in my head and writes down their stories. I’ve been a romance junkie since my teens and married my high school sweet heart at 18. I have two handsome sons, and enrolled in college at a point in life when most women are slowing down, and I haven’t looked back since. I’ve been a writer of some sort since childhood, whether it was poetry, short stories, or a paragraph that came to mind from a photograph.

Do you currently have any books out for purchase? If so, what are the names, what’s it about and where can we find them?

Jan: My debut release, PLAYING DOCTOR, is one of six books included in the launch of Entangled Publishing’s sexy new imprint, FLAUNT. It’s about Gabriel North, a doctor who lost his wife two years prior to a condition in which he specialized, and is guilt-ridden at having missed the classic signs of the pulmonary embolus (blood clot in the lung) that took her life.

Beth Roberts is a survivor of domestic violence and has no interest in another relationship with a man. For the past four years, she has devoted her life to raising her son and her work in the ER.  

Are you currently working on something? Tell us about it!

I’m the type of person who never has only “one” thing in the works. I’m working on the story for the secondary characters in PLAYING DOCTOR, titled EDUCATING EVE, about a Navy SEAL home on leave for his brother’s wedding (actually, the one where Gabe and Beth meet J), and his childhood friend, Eve, a romance writer whose lackluster love life is making writing those steamy love scenes nearly impossible. While growing up, Eve was forever asking Ian to “show her how to do something.” Well, guess what she wants him to tutor her on now!

I also have a book titled, AFTER THE STORM in the works. An erotic story about a hunky carpenter who fulfills his next door neighbors fantasies, and a friends to lovers story titled, TAKING CHARGE.

If you were stranded on a deserted island, what THREE things could you not live without?

Jan: In reality it would be my family, food/water and my faith. In my dreams it would be, chocolate, the internet and Chris Hemsworth…or Dustin Clare…or Adam Von Rothfelder…or, well, you get the picture J

When is your most creative time of the day?

Jan: Evenings to late night. I’ve always been a nocturnal person.

What motivates you to write? Music, movies, pictures?

Jan: Music and photographs are my major muse. I was having a bit of difficulty figuring out what Beth was trying to say to Gabe after their night together, then, driving to work one morning, a song came on the radio (Too Close, by Alex Clare) and BAM! I knew exactly what she was trying to tell Gabe, and how much it hurt her to say it.

Photographs are an awesome source of inspiration for me, too. I fear the day that one of my computers blow and has to be taken in for repairs. I’m sure to be labeled a pervert once the tech sees my Pictures file.

If you could have a conversation with anyone, living or dead, who would it be and why?

Jan: President John F. Kennedy, just to say, “See what’s happened to the country you loved so much?”

What authors inspire you? Why?

Jan: So many authors have inspired me over the years! Nora Roberts, for her way of moving a story forward with action and her awesome ability to jump from one character’s point of view to another and do it in a way that works.

Sherrilyn Kenyon for drawing me into the fantastic worlds she creates and making me alternate between weeping for her tortured characters and laughing at the sarcasm bouncing between them.

Anne Calhoun for her ability to write a story so real, that it stays with me for months after I’ve finished the book.

Jennifer Probst because…well, what an wonderful story teller she is! Her books reach out and grasp your heart and make you wonder, what if…

What started you on the journey to write?

Jan: As I said, I’ve always written in one form or another. Like most writers, I read...a lot. Some books are the most wonderful tomes you’ll ever hold in your hands. Others will make you want to throw the book against the wall and wonder how in the world it got published. After reading one of those, I thought, pfft, I can do better than that. Then I tried. Well let me tell you, I burned my first attempt, making damn sure NO one would have the opportunity to fling it against the wall in frustration!

After a while, and several aborted attempts, I decided to listen to what my characters were saying to me, and stop trying to write for a publisher with such strict guidelines that my creativity was stifled. And it worked.

What are the biggest challenges you’ve come across being an author or a writer?

Jan: Writer’s block, procrastination and concentration. I constantly find myself jumping up from the computer and looking for something to do.

How has becoming a published author (independent or traditional) changed your perspective on life and is it everything you expected it to be? (If you are not published yet – what changes do you foresee?)

Jan: I’ve found it to be a lot like the quote from A Tale of Two Cities:  It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. As this is my first foray into the world of publishing, I knew very little of what to expect. During editing, I was so terrified of making a change and it being a wrong one. It took me a while to realize that, even though I had sold my book to a publisher, it was still my book, and that what we were doing with it was a partnership, not a relinquishing of my work to a stranger giving advice and suggestions.

I feel very fortunate to have Heather Howland and Tahra Seplowin as my editors, and Kerri-Leigh Grady is wonderful to work with, as well.  I also had wonderful support from my awesome critique partner, multi-published author, Cathryn Fox, without whom I would have floundered. Wendy Marcus and Laura Kaye were wonderful sources of information and encouragement, as well.

How do you stay motivated and get through writer’s block?

Jan: I go back and read what I’ve written from page one. I know my characters are trying to kick me in the butt and move on with their story, so I revisit what they’ve told me and see what I’m missing. I pull up the photos for the muse for the story, take another look at what they say to me.

I have a wonderful friend and critique partner, Cathryn Fox, who keeps me on the straight and narrow. I can send what I have to her, get her take on it and she points out where I need to go. I’d be lost without her.

What keeps you focused and ‘in the zone’ while writing your novels?

Jan: My characters keep me in the zone.

Do you have a technique or style of writing you prefer? Do you write in order or skip around and piece together later?

Jan: I’m a patch-work writer, especially if I’m having trouble with a certain scene. I find it more productive to work on another scene, or one that’s hounding me to get it on paper, than to attempt to write in a linear fashion. It’s all about putting the words down…it can always be pasted in the appropriate spot later.

When your dreams come true, what do you do?

Jan: Freak a little. Oddly enough, there are times when my dreams have come true. Selling PLAYING DOCTOR was a major dream come true. I was offered a contract from another publisher a week before Entangled contacted me saying they wanted to take it to acquisitions. Entangled was my first choice from the get-go, so it was no chore to take the time and wait for them. In the end, they handed me my dream.

To all of us aspiring authors, struggling, or newbies, what is the best advice you can give us?

Jan: Read the type of story you want to write, and write the story you  want to tell. Get the words down, polish it and make it your own. Get a good critique partner who writes what you write and understand that her comments and suggestions are just that, and she means no insult to you, but that in the end, it’s your story. Research the publishers you plan to submit to: who are their current authors, how are their books selling, what’s their business model? Take note of royalty payments: do they pay a % of cover or list price or net profits? There is a major difference in your royalty check when you compare cover v/s net. Contact authors already with the publisher you plan to submit to: are they happy?

Quote from novel: “Unless that’s an otoscope in your pocket, you haven’t heard a word I’ve said.”

Find Jan here: 

 https://www.facebook.com/jan.meredith.121

http://www.janmeredithauthor.com/

Wanna buy the book??

B&N: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/playing-doctor-jan-meredith/1117313837?ean=9781622664078

Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Playing-Doctor-Entangled-Flaunt-Meredith-ebook/dp/B00GETW0LI/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1383774993&sr=1-1&keywords=jan+meredith

Special Treat!! Read at own risk, adult language and content.

PLAYING DOCTOR/Entangled Flaunt

Blurb:

When a fellow RN jokingly predicts that Beth Roberts will meet a tall, ripped and totally lick-o-licious stranger who will fulfill her deepest desires, it’s supposed to be from across a crowded room, not giving CPR to a wedding guest. Given her tragic love life, Beth has no desire to become involved again, but who could have predicted the ponytailed doctor with the mischievous smile would break through her defenses?

Dr. Gabriel North blamed himself for his wife’s death. Now, after two years of battling guilt and meaningless hookups, he’s ready to move on. When he sees the sexy brunette at his friend’s wedding, his attraction is swift and strong, and he wastes no time in pressing his advantage. One night with the woman who makes him feel alive again isn’t enough, but gaining her trust is going to take more than medical school has prepared him for.

Excerpt: 860 words

He worked the button at her waistband free, pulled the zipper down and drove his hand inside. His fingers slid over her sex once, twice, and then plunged deep. Her body quaked, her inner walls grasped and squeezed at his fingers, but it wasn’t enough.

“More,” she moaned. “I need…I’ve got to have my hands on you.” Beth tugged his shirt free of his slacks, keenly aware of the thick column of his cock pressing against his fly. She plunged her hands under the soft fabric, smoothed her palms up the firm ridges of his abdomen. She pressed her hand to his chest, just over his heart, felt the gallop and pitch of it beneath muscle and bone.

For her.

She was in so much trouble and she didn’t give a flying fig. Right now, at this moment, all she cared about was this man, and that he was here, standing before her. Wanting her.

            His forehead fell to hers, his breathing ragged and uneven. He pulled her hand from his cock, grasped her hips and dragged her in, grinding his erection against her upper abdomen. “I’ve dreamed about you, woke up with the taste of you in my mouth.”

            Her breath caught in her throat. “I’ve dreamed about you, too. Of your mouth, your tongue on me.” She shuddered against him.

            “God, Beth.”

            “I came, but it wasn’t enough. It’s not enough now. I need you…inside me. Right here, right now.”

            “Fucking hell!”           

Had she not known it was lust that caused his fingers to bite into her hips, Beth would have been frightened, but she knew she was safe. By the way his eyes burned with it, the way his shoulders heaved as he fought for control, by the way his touch gentled, she knew. The hollow feeling in her chest filled to overflowing, sealed over, and healed. A new sensation crept in and tapped at her heart. Open up, it beckoned, and see what awaits.

Fabric shifted, just enough to accommodate. Beth toed off her shoes, slid her slacks and panties down to kick one leg free. Gabe fought his belt open, yanked down his zipper and shoved his slacks over his hips. His cock sprang free, heavy and full.

He bent his knees, cupped her ass in his hands and hoisted her up. “Hang on to me. I’m sorry. This is going to be fast,” he apologized and reached between them to align the rigid length of his cock between her thighs. “Ah, damn, you’re so wet,” he gritted, and then slid into her.

Beth buried her face against his neck, ran her tongue along the line of his jaw. His body shuddered. She wrapped around him, wound her arms around his neck, squeezed her legs around his hips and held him there. He was thick and hard and she thought she’d come from the sheer bliss of having him inside her again. He pulled back, all the way to the tip, and, when he thrust back in, the door rattled on its hinges.

They both froze.

Beth sucked in a breath. “Oh, God, as much as I’d love for you to do that again—”

Gabe’s forehead banged against the door. “You’d hate to get fired for getting fucked  against my office door.” He turned, moved to the side and braced his back against the wall.

Beth glanced around the small room, her gaze landing on the desk. Gabe laughed, causing his cock to flex and pulling a moan from her throat.

“Baby,” he rasped, “there’s nothing I’d like more than to bend you over that piece of furniture and take us both to heaven, but unless it’s nailed to the floor…”

“Oh, God.” The image he painted, pushing over the desk, driving into her…her pussy clenched.

“Ah, fuck! Squeeze me like that again,” he panted. “Just…hold on to me.” Widening his stance, Gabe grasped Beth’s hips and lifted her, angling his pelvis up as he brought her back down hard on his shaft. Then he did it again.

“Gabe, that’s…oh, I…just don’t stop!” Each pause was punctuated with another lift and thrust.

“No way in hell. Just don’t scream when you come.” And then he moved, lifting, lowering, rotating his hips to find that sweet spot that drove her wild.

It started in the soles of her feet—that sizzle of electricity signaling her orgasm. It snaked up her legs, curled around her inner thighs, and with a low keening sound, Beth buried her face in Gabe’s neck and welcomed it as it speared her clit with an orgasm that clung to every inch of Gabe as he drove into her. He was right with her, his breath a harsh hiss against her ear as he thrust deep and held her tightly against him.

The soft brush of Gabe’s lips over her sweat-dampened temple was in stark contradiction to the choppy breaths lifting his chest against hers. “I’ve missed you, missed this,” he whispered hoarsely.

“Me, too.” After a moment, when she’d caught her breath, Beth lifted her head and said, “We really…”

“Need to talk,” he sighed. “I know.”

Bio:

Jan Meredith has been a romance junkie since her teens. When she isn't penning steamy stories about strong-willed, independent women and the sexy men who love them, she works as an Infusion Therapy nurse. She lives near Mammoth Cave, KY with her husband (and former high school sweet heart) Tommy.

You can learn more about her at her web site: http://www.janmeredithauthor.com/ 
Follow her on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jan.meredith.121 
or Twitter: https://twitter.com/JanMeredith21