Some of these are mine, some are not. Have fun reading!
When my child has a hissy fit, I let him scream it out to "build character", but mostly because it's hilarious. Come on, when is watching your child freak the heck out and get red faced and fuming because you said "No, you can have a snack AFTER dinner..." not funny? Right?
Once we're mommies to toddlers, we seem to get some superpowers. I know my superpower is deaf ears. When he's just being crazy loud and annoying, I tune him out. I've become quite good that I can get work done and only respond to screams of pain or crying in pain. You start to learn not every wail is important.
Giving him his toothbrush to chew rather than having him fuss while brushing his teeth. Two birds, one stone...right?
That moment when I see him standing on the kitchen table...again....I pretend I don't see just so I don't have to get up and get him down....again.
When I'm extremely tired... letting him soak in bubble bath is considered bath time. Smells clean, good enough for me.
At some point, I stopped getting worried by the sanitation of what he puts in his mouth. It's called building immunity.
He gets into everything no matter how child proofed your house is and how high you put stuff....Poison control has heard from me more than my friends do.
When I hear them starting to argue from the other room, I quickly hide so they get distracted in trying to find me. You know they'll always run to mommy for an intervention.
When my kids don't wake up in the morning, I pretend I'm talking to someone at the back door. They get so curious, they jump right up. Nosy little boogers.
For storytime, I skip read and skip paragraphs. It's not like he notices?
HOW annoying is it when your kid listens to EVERYONE around you...but you. This is done purposely to test our patience.
I've become my mother...you know the sayings we used to hate hearing so much. Can I get an "AMEN" if you heard this once...or a thousand times.
1. "Oh, you won't feel that when you married."
2. "If you fall off the sofa, don't come crying to me."
3. "I brought you in this world, I can surely take you out."
4. Speaking through your clenched teeth because that's so much more threatening like you mean business.
5. "Aw, poor baby...poor little thing." Sarcastically like it's not really poor baby...
6. "If you don't stop, so help me God..."
7. "I will take you in that bathroom."
You know you're a mommy when you....
* Think idle threats will work and get the job done. Don't follow through? You look soft.
* Count down the time until bedtime and map out your night in your head. (put kid to bed, wine, bath, reading, sleep. Come on 8:30!)
* Are in the store and your kid has a hissy fit, all you can do is smile and shake your head but mentally think ohhhhh just wait until we're alone.
* You find that 80% of your purse contents are sippy cups, pacifiers, toys, wipes or other toddler/baby related items.
* Socks...disappear. They just disappear and you're certain the inside of your washer or dryer may look like a sock graveyard if taken apart and disassembled.
* You love your kid 1000 times more when they're sleeping because they look so peaceful and quiet.
* Would do it all over again, because...well, we love the torture? lol just kidding...maybe?
I love my son with my whole heart and soul, and he's the best thing that's happened to me. I'll always love him, I just don't always have to like him. :P
I'm sure all you moms out there can relate. Motherhood was never meant to be easy, and the joys outweigh the frustration, but when your night if finally quiet and you can think...all you think about is how lucky you are to be a mom to the sweetest (when he wants to be) little boy and know that he loves you unconditionally just as much as you love him. And there is nothing, nothing you would not do for him. At least that's how I feel. I LOVE my son, but I hate the toddler years. (Terrible twos and threes) It's a process though....and definitely an uphill climb. One I'm glad to take with my fellow mommies. There's a huge bottle of wine waiting for us at the top!!!
Until next time,
First time mom.
